Being single does not define me.

Recently my twitter has been a bit of a mixed bag. A lot of happy “oh my word its so festive and brilliant” posts mixed in with some arguments and drama alongside a whole bunch of “Christmas sucks when you are single”. And honestly, I am a bit over it.

I am single. I am pretty ok with my “status”. Yes, there are days when I would love nothing more than the chance to call my boyfriend and have cuddles (and the rest…) but in general, I am NOT one of those people who is desperate for a boyfriend. Yea it would be nice but it’s not the end of the world.

I see so many people online saying how awful being single is. It really isn’t that bad guys.

I have been ‘on my own’ for just over three years. I have had a few flings and stuff in that time (including an accidental boyfriend who was all kinds of awful) which have been fun.  I’ve been on a few dates, some wonderful, some TERRIBLE.  I’ve had what I thought were amazing connections with guys who turned out to be utter pricks and have felt like I would NEVER find a good guy. I have cried, I have laughed but in general, the last 3 years have been pretty FUN.

My heart hurts a little for those people (men and women) who cannot enjoy single life. Having a partner is amazing but it should not and DOES NOT define you.  The old adage “you need to love yourself before you can love someone else” does come into play but not for everyone. I know a lot of people who do love themselves and are very happy and having a partner would just complete the picture. That’s cool. And I actually totally get it. BUT there are some, who (from what I see) seem to think that having a partner is the ONLY thing that matters; and that makes me sad. Dating should be FUN not a chore. Yes it SUCKS sometimes, it’s not easy, and we all know the perils of ghosts and love bombers and zombies and all the other nonsense; but in all that shit there is FUN. You get to meet new people, work out what you do and don’t want in a partner, even make some great friends along the way (I know I have!)

Being single is great. You only have to think about yourself. I can make plans for me and not worry about what my other half is doing, I randomly go on adventures and do things without even blinking. There is no one to have to think about Christmas presents for (although, I bloody LOVE picking the perfect gifts) I don’t have to worry that I am going to Switzerland for 5 days, I can go out and flirt with who the hell I want, yes a kiss at midnight on NYE would be great but last year I snogged a total random and this year I am hoping for similar.

I have so many friends who are in couples and I see the drama that comes with it…my word I can do without that right now.  Yes they get the good side which USUALLY outweighs the bad but the bad is still there. No, I am not saying that this would stop me having a relationship, jesus, we all KNOW that relationships are not easy, but I am saying that it makes me think, and makes it clear that I want to wait until I meet the right person. I am 100% ready to settle down but I am also in no rush to meet the wrong guy!


I am VERY aware that I have a wonderful family and bunch of phenomenal friends who build me up and make sure I never feel totally alone. I know that some people don’t have this and that can make things MUCH harder, especially over the festive period. There is nothing WRONG with wanting a partner, that is not what I am saying at all. I bloody want a partner but I am trying to live my life without needing one!

I would love to see more people embracing single life, hear more stories of what people have been able to do because they are single rather than stories of misery because they feel a partner is the be all and end all.

I for one am going in to 2018 with open arms and embracing my single life because despite the occasional pang for a cuddle on a cold Sunday evening…it can be BLOODY BRILLIANT!


3 thoughts on “Being single does not define me.

  1. Chanelle says:

    I was single all throughout my teenage years and only got my first boyfriend last year when I was 21. I didn’t let not having a boyfriend define me, I saw it as a chance to better myself and learn how to be when I did get into a relationship. Being single is definitely not a bad thing! x


  2. Jimmy says:

    I love this. I’m so glad to see a woman saying fuck you to society. And as a gay man I get the same “you need a boyfriend” and “why are you single”. Like NO I don’t need someone and I’m single because of my choice. Just do you honey ❤️


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